Archive for the 'Funny' Category

06
Jun

A Tale of A Weird Evening

Alright, so after writing many posts about how I don’t read book, I finally got inspired by these posts and decided to pick up not one but two books. The first book I chose was “To Kill A Mockingbird” which was easy to find but the second book, “The Picture Of Dorian Gray” wasn’t to be found in any of the 5-6 bookstores I visited. I was hopeful that I would find it in Gangarams, the  only bookstore I couldn’t visit bacause its closed on Sundays. So last Saturday evening, I decided to go look for the book there.

Unfortunately, the rain gods weren’t too happy with my plans. And as has happened on countless other occasions, it started drizzling as soon as I got out of my apartment. By the time I reached MG Road, the rain got worse and in the 2 minutes that it took me to find a parking space and get to a safe place which could shade me from the rain, I was completely drenched. I spent the next 15 minutes inside an ATM waiting for the rain to let up but when it showed no sign of weakening, I decided to do something drastic. Now, I am generally really cranky in such situations but I felt like a really fun guy for the rest of the evening. Since I was already totally wet and dripping, I got out of the ATM and started walking towards the bookstore in the rain. I was walking swiftly but slowed down from time to time to look at the people who were standing at the entrance of shops to save themselves from the rain and give them the look - “Hey sissies! Look at me! I’m not afraid of the rain!”. Yeah, I can be a real jerk at times! Although, some people did look at me with a hint of admiration in their eyes. Or so I imagined.

Anyways, I soon spotted a Bombay Dyeing showroom and an idea popped into my mind. I went in, with a trail of water following me, and asked for a towel. Now whats interesting is that the shopkeeper and I spent the new few minutes figuring out which size and color was right for me even though there was a huge puddle of water that had dripped from my clothes around me. I decided upon a dark blue, medium sized towel and bought it. When he tried to put the towel in a bag, I asked him if I could use the towel instead. He smiled and said yes. And then I happily dried my head, face and arms (all the parts accessible without taking off my clothes) and then I put it in the bag and proceeded to the bookstore. I quickly got the book I wanted but spent the next 20 minutes or so to look for a book I could gift a friend. My clothes were still wet and stuck to me. When I came out of the store, it was still raining but it wasn’t as bad. The temperature had dropped by a couple of degrees though and wearing wet clothes didn’t help much. So I thought of going to the nearby Barista on Church Street. As I was walking towards it, a girl who was walking behind me on the sidewalk took to the road instead and suddenly started tip-toeing. In the middle of the road!!?? (I wonder if the new Shoppers’ Stop ad inspired her to do so) I couldn’t help but smile. Some other people were also looking at her but she didn’t seem to care. And then she stopped and started walking normally again.

I was still trying to make sense of what had just happened when there was a huge blast-like sound and bright lights emerged on my right. I turned back a little and it was the the electrical meter of a building that was giving out huge sparks. I tried to keep walking but others came running towards me and one guy kept his hand on my shoulder(??) for support, I guess. He was still looking at the meter and after a second or so, he went back where he came from cos the sparks had stopped. He never even cared to look at the guy he had been holding for support. I was laughing and then I saw that the tip-toe girl had also stopped because of the whole ruckus and she was also smiling.

I started walking again. It was still raining and I was still wet. Only now, I felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode. The rest of the evening was uneventful. I spent a total of three and a half in my wet clothes before I finally reached home and got out of them. Phew!

12
May

Pic Crazy

I present here some pictures and though the pictures in this post are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves, I’ll give some background on these.

The first picture is of a shop on Whitefield Road that I pass everyday on my way to work and back. It was first noticed by a friend who shared it with me and its been the reason for many laughs for the two of us since then. But I felt something like this should be shared with the whole world so here it is in all its glory:

Anus Refractories

Notice how there’s no space between U and S which makes me believe that the apostrophe was just an afterthought. Now you know where not to go for all your refractory needs!

The second picture was taken by me just before the sunset last Monday from the terrace of my new apartment. Everything was just perfect and I was lucky enough to capture the sunlight piercing through the clouds:

Clouds

The picture made one of my friends a little envious cos he’d been trying to get such a shot for some time now. I think its beautiful! The sunset can be seen here.

22
Jan

Twenty Two Again!

In case you are wondering what the title means, I wrote this post titled Twenty Two exactly an year ago.
The last few days have been full of confusion. Has it ever happened to you feel that even though everything is going okay, you still feel a little concerned  as if something is not right. Also, I keep trying to do new things in life but somehow all of those soon merge into the mundane fabric of my life. Is there even a solution? I’m not sure. I’m not even sure if I make sense at all. But I am still gonna write it. You see, one of my problems that I’ve recognized recently is over thinking. In fact, there are many draft posts that never got published because of it. And as they say, accepting a problem is the first step towards solving it. So lets see how this goes.

Interestingly, in the post that I wrote an year ago, I had mentioned how my broadband provider was being a real pain. What I didn’t tell you was how I called up its customer service center everyday and gave the guy/gal a piece of my mind. They somehow always managed to get on my nerves. They made me discover how much hatred I was capable of. After a point of time, I started to talk to them with sarcasm only. As a result, I said some stuff that I have never said to anybody in my life. Here are few samples. Remember, they drove me crazy and I do not repent saying any of this:

“Not all of your customers are as dumb as you!”

“Does your company only hire retards?”

“Can anybody on the field team read?”

“How many of your company’s employees do I have to kill to get my connection fixed?”

“Do you use a different system of units for measuring time?”

“You suck at your job. Please quit!”

Ah, good times!

03
Dec

Why I Love My Broadband Connection

In September 2007, my ISP, Tata Indicom, introduced online bill payment. (Yeah! There are that technically advanced! )

This is what the bill I needed to pay back then looked like:

Tata Indicom Bill - September

So I logged into their website and went through the whole process of payment using a credit card only to get a timeout error in the end. So I restarted the process, choosing to pay using my bank account. The same error resurfaced. I got a little worried now so I checked my bank account’s statement immediately only to find out that Rs. 1908 had been debited from it. So I called up Tata Indicom customer care (cc) and I was informed that they had in fact received the payment both the times but it was alright because that just meant that I wouldn’t have to pay the bill the following month. Phew! So I had payed double the amount I was supposed to, right? Wrong!

The bill I got in October looked like this:

Tata Indicom Bill - October

So instead of Rs. 3816 that I had actually paid, they somehow received Rs. 22896! Could it be that they are trying to make up for the hell I had to go through because of them? I don’t think so. I still called up cc and asked the guy about it. He told me it was a system fault which would be rectified and that I didn’t need to worry. Since I had already paid for one extra month, I didn’t care much and forgot about it.

Funnily enough, if I look at my transaction history on their website, it gives the correct details:

Transaction History

But this month I again got a weird bill:

Tata Indicom Bill - November

The due date has already passed and I did not receive any warning. My connection is also working perfectly. I still thought I would pay the Rs. 1123 that I should but their bill pay screen scared me. They want me to transfer a negative amount. Take a look!

Tata Indicom Bill Pay Screen

I called the cc again today but I was told to call later because their systems were down. Lets see what happens now!

26
Nov

Observations

These are some of the funnier observations I made during my vacation. My phone cam really came in handy in capturing all of these. Some pictures are a little shaky cause I can’t stay still for too long.

  1. Have you ever seen a store with a glass door use this kinda lock with a chain? Well, I hadn’t until I saw this at a mall in Lucknow.

    Lock

  2. This guy is some yogi and probably respected by some (??) but this photo of his holding a gada(mace) is just plain funny! Caught this in Gopinath Market, Delhi Cantonment.

    Mace

  3. Do you want a new child in your family but think the whole process is too cumbersome. Well, a multiplex in Sahibabad has just the thing for you. Take a look!

    M4U

  4. For people who can’t read Hindi, the next picture is of a store’s ad which lists all the things sold there. What makes it special though is that the list is extremely comprehensive and yet there’s a note at the end which claims that the store sells some other stuff too!

    Store

  5. The next picture is of a caption at a fruit vendor’s stall. The caption says “Fix Rate” [sic] which is okay but look at the nicely drawn fruits. Reminds me of my art file from primary school.

    Fruits

  6. As a bonus, here are two older pictures from Bangalore (both from Banaswadi Road) that have been on my flickr for a while now.




Take a look at


My Flickr

  • Rocky Mountain
  • Jaladhama - The Reception
  • A peek into paradise
  • Treehouse - Daytime

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