Funny archive at Rhythmic Dissonance

Archive for the 'Funny' Category

Aug

Of Accomplished Missions, iPhone Killer and Hateful Buses

Raj 12 Comments

Categories: Happy, Ranting, Funny and Life

On my last visit back home, I was told that I had gained some weight which was surprising because I had already joined the gym and I thought it was working for me. After hearing lots of similar comments, I decided to take matters into hand, went through lots of websites related to health & diet and came up with my own plan of eating healthy and staying fit. And thus began “Mission Hotness”! It was essentially a 2 month plan (which ends August 31) that required me to live under a new fitness regime - eating 6 balanced meals in a day, staying away from fatty food and of course, working out, exercising and walking. I followed the plan religiously and even though the mission is yet to end, I already have biceps and triceps just about visible to the naked eye, I can see the emergence of a v shaped torso, my waist has already gone down a size and I have lost around 1kg. I am ecstatic and want everyone to know that such plans do work!! This achievement did cause its own problems though. All my regular fitted jeans became loose and the loose ones became useless. I had to buy two new pairs of jeans in a hurry!! But thats all part of the game. I’m going to continue following the plan for now and hopefully, I’ll be in perfect shape soon!

I bought my second cellphone more than two years ago. I had just started regular blogging back then and I wrote this post about it. I had promised myself that I will use the new phone for 2 years and then buy a new phone. I kept my promise and two weeks ago, I bought a shiny new HTC Touch. Its been called an iPhone killer by few sections of the media but that doesn’t really matter to me. What I like is that its tiny (its codename was elf!), sleek, sexy and most of all a windows mobile phone which lets you do everything with just a finger. Honestly, I don’t have to use the stylus at all!

The morning bus to work hates me. I have to fight with the window for 2-5 mins to get it to open. And because it always loses to me, it decided to get back at me couple of days ago by spewing its venom on me. Sure, it was intelligent enough to disguise it as muddy, rain water but I know what it really was. If I had an open wound, I could have poisoned! But it isn’t the only evil bus I have to deal with. The new evening bus is the most sadistic bus ever. Its so uncomfortable that one can never sleep even for a second in it. And I have to spend close to 2 hours in it. It has made my life miserable. Its hard to resist the temptation of setting it on fire. And if you are wondering why I am writing about buses all of a sudden, I spend 3 hours in these buses everyday! What else do you expect?

Oct

Home Sick

Raj 19 Comments

Categories: Pictures, Ranting, Happy, Travel, Television, Music, Blog, Funny and Life

Last Wednesday, after being confined to my home on the bandh day, I swore to myself that I would not stay at home the whole day ever. And I spent the whole of Thursday and Friday very much at home because I was down with viral fever. Oh, the irony of life! But those two days and two long nights were horrible. I constantly ran a fever of 103.5 degrees and hence couldn’t sleep. To make things worse, this was the first time I fell ill since I started living alone and so I had no medicines other than few homeopathic ones from my dad.

On Wednesday night, when the illness started, I employed my mp3 player to help me sleep and it worked for sometime. I was starting to feel really sad about the whole situation cos I was sick and all alone but Frou Frou helped me get over it by singing “There’s beauty in the breakdown” in my ear. And so at 3:15 am, I called up my landlady and asked for medicines.

I am much better now. The motivation for getting better, of course, is that I’m going to Lucknow tomorrow for Diwali. And its been a year since I went home. I last went on last Diwali. The difference this time would be that my parents now have broadband at home so I will keep posting and keep reading other blogs. In fact, I may be able to post more than I do now.

And even though I don’t write too many posts these days, its good to know once in a while that my blog can keep people occupied for hour(s) and even make them come back as is evident in screenshot 1, screenshot 2 and screenshot 3. (The third visit was longer than the screenshot). I think that’s enough reason to feel good about. What do you think?

Update: In a major offence, I forgot to tell you all about my new pictures from my trip to Nagarahole in which I saw crocodiles, elephants, dears, birds, a fox and a will boar. The pictures can be found on flickr, as always.

Update 2 This is a small clip from one of the funniest episodes of Family Guy. Take a look. It’s just too funny!! Watch it, please!

Sep

Back Home

Raj 16 Comments

Categories: Bangalore, Television, Funny and Life

It’s been close to two weeks since I returned back home and things have been mostly okay. I didn’t blog partly because I was busy and partly because I just didn’t feel like.

On my first day to work after coming back, my cell phone’s alarm stuck to following the German time zone (even though I had changed the time zone) and went off at 9:00 am which meant I had to go through a harrowing experience of getting from the centre of the city to Whitefield during the peak traffic hour.
Last Sunday, Sonia Gandhi decided to visit Bangalore and since her rally took place near my home, the traffic situation was horrible. No, not everyday-Bangalore horrible, this was at a totally new level. I’ve never really liked her but now, I hate her. It now seems like Congress might be fined for all the posters they put up all over the city. But don’t we all know that its not really going to happen.
It’s good to be back home and watch Indian television after a month. I missed it. Last Sunday. I turned on the TV and saw the headline “Salman ke ghar Ganesh” (Ganesh in Salman’s home) and it felt so familiar and good.

Aug

Graffiti

Raj 17 Comments

Categories: People, Travel and Funny

Its just been two days since I landed at the Frankfurt Airport and I think I’m already used to the routine here. Things have been great so far. People had really scared me before coming here that its too hot and it was hot when I reached but it started raining on Sunday evening and the weather has been pleasant since then. I have not taken too many pictures yet either.

This is the first time I’m visiting a foreign country but what’s weird is that I don’t feel like I’m in a foreign place at all. I feel like I feel when I visit any Indian city for the first time. This in spite of the fact that Germans are all around me. Is that weird or normal? Whatever!

I have seen quite a few new things here though. Graffiti being one of them, pin drop silence on the streets being another and most surprising of all, cars stopping for the pedestrians to cross the road. Plus it was a li’l difficult to adjust to the fact that it gets dark only after 9:30 pm.

I know this isn’t a long post but I wrote it using a German keyboard which, I tell you, is not easy to use.

Apr

A Different World

Raj 18 Comments

Categories: Bangalore, Funny and Life

Its now more than a week since I joined the new company and I still have two months of training left.

But in just one week, my life has changed a lot.

My old office was quite centrally located on Infantry Road which is just 4 km from my home and one could easily walk to Cunningham Road, Commercial Street and MG Road from there. My new office is in Whitefield, completely outside the city. There is nowhere to go from there. There are big office campuses there and nothing else.

Also, since my home is far from my office, I need to take the office shuttle. The shuttle comes to my stop at 7.15 am in the morning which means I have to get up at 5.30 am. Tragic! I even had to run half the distance yesterday (I woke up late) with people on the road looking at me all funny.

Anyhow, the first day I went to catch the office shuttle, I saw something completely new. A world I never knew existed. There were only buses and cabs belonging to software companies on the road apart from a few private vehicles. And there were atleast 20 people waiting for their respective buses/cabs. It was surprising.

I’ve almost got used to the new routine and all the commuting somehow makes me feel more like a part of Bangalore’s IT brigade.

Update: Forgot to add a funny incident. One evening I was sitting in the bus as were 4-5 other people. The driver came in and held up a book which said, “Know Your Limits”. Within a second, it was clear that he had found it in the bus and wanted to return it to the owner but I wondered how funny it would have been if he had actually bought it and wanted everyone to read it and then stay within their limits. Maybe its one of those things where you have to be there for it to be funny bcos it was really funny and I couldn’t control my laughter, which I finally had to bcos there were other people there (who I don’t speak to) and they would have assumed that I’m nuts.